My All-Time Favorite Quotable Movies

One of my grande amigos, Eric “Gunny” Hartman, is a very sharp guy.  You can chat with him on just about any subject – theology, philosophy, rhetoric, history, politics, sports – and the discussion will  be an informative one.  His blog posts on Semper Reformanda are unique in that their titles always come from a movie quote.  Whenever he and I chat, it always involves the throwing out of one or several movie quotes.  Even before meeting Gunny a decade ago, many of my conversations were sprinkled with lines from movies.  For example, every time I get on a golf course (which isn’t often), there is always a ‘Caddyshack’ quote (even though it’s not a movie I’d recommend).  As I’m enjoying my annual golf outing next week, someone is certain to hear, “Cinderella story.  Outta nowhere.  A former greenskeeper now about to become the Masters champion.  It looks like a miracle.  It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”  Of course, this isn’t unusual, as many catchphrases come from movies and television.  I was thinking about this the other day, and decided to present a blog post of my own favorite quotable movies.  And, as Gunny notes, “citation doesn’t necessarily entail endorsement of the movie.”  Please feel free to comment on your favorite quotable movies / movie quotes.  Here are mine:

10. Tommy Boy
- Why would somebody put a guarantee on a box?  Hmm, very interesting.
- He could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves!
- You know a lot of people go to college for seven years. / I know, they’re called doctors.
- I swear I’ve seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that…was…awesome!  But, sorry about your car, man.
- You have de-railed.
- It’s called reading! Top to bottom, left to right… a group of words together is called a sentence.
- Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?
- Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark!
- Schnike!
- Could’ve done without that.
MOST QUOTED: Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers gotta hug.

09. Ghostbusters
- Aim for the flattop!
- Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
- Someone blows their nose and you want to keep it?
- I think we’d better split up. / Good idea. / Yeah… we can do more damage that way.
- Mother pus bucket!
- Back off, man, I’m a scientist.
- You never studied.
- Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.
- Actually, it’s more of a guideline than a rule.
- I tried to think of the most harmless thing.  Something I loved from my childhood.  Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.  Mr. Stay-Puft! / Nice thinkin’, Ray.
- He’s an ugly little spud, isn’t he?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nice shootin’, Tex!
- Where these stairs go? / They go up!
MOST USED QUOTE: He slimed me.

08. Nacho Libre
- I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night… for some toast.
- They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!
- There is no flavor.  There are no spices. Where are the chips?
- Your only job is to cook.  Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?
- I’m a little concerned right now.  About your salvation and stuff. How come you have not been baptized?
- I know it is fun to wrestle.  A nice piledrive to the face, or a punch to the face, but you cannot do it. Because, it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbour.
- But my life is good!  Really good!  I get to wake up every morning, at 5:00 am, and make some soup! It’s the best.  I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That’s fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books!
- Summon your eagle powers. / Eagle powers… come to me!  Please!
- Those eggs were a lie, Esqueleto.  A LIE!  They give me no eagle powers!  The give me no nutrients!
- I’m not listening to you!  You only believe in science.  That’s probably why we never win!
- There is no place for me in this world.  I don’t belong out there, and I don’t belong in here.  So I’m going out into the Wilderness.  Probably to die.
- My mother gave it to me before she died. It was her lucky machete. You can have it.
- These are my recreation clothes.
- How come we can’t ever have just like a salad?
- Beneath the clothes, we find a man… and beneath the man, we find his… nucleus.
- If you fight for something noble, or for someone who needs your help, only then will God bless you in battle.
MOST USED QUOTE: When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room.  It’s for fun.

07. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
- You killed the car.
- The question isn’t “what are we going to do,” the question is “what aren’t we going to do?”
- He’ll keep calling me, he’ll keep calling me until I come over. He’ll make me feel guilty. This is uh… This is ridiculous, ok I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go.
- In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone?  Anyone?  The Great Depression, passed the… Anyone?  Anyone?  The tariff bill?  The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act?  Which…Anyone?  Raised or lowered?  Raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government.  Did it work?  Anyone?  Anyone know the effects?  It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is?  Class?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Anyone seen this before?  The Laffer Curve.  Anyone know what this says?  It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point.  This is very controversial.  Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone?  Something-D-O-O economics.  ”Voodoo” economics.
- A: You can never go too far. B: If I’m gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that.
- Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.
- Never had one lesson!
-Hey batta batta batta, hey batta batta batta, SUH-WING batta!
- It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.
MOST USED QUOTE: Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?

06. Patton
- Now I want you to remember that no [one] ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb [one] die for his country.
-Rommel, you magnificent [one], I read your book!
- Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that “we are holding our position.” We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We’re going to hold onto him by the nose and we’re going to kick him in the ass. We’re going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we’re going to go through him like crap through a goose!
- Thirty years from now, when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you, “What did you do in the great World War II,” you won’t have to say, “Well… I shoveled [crap] in Louisiana.”
- They’re ivory. Only a pimp from a cheap New Orleans whorehouse would carry a pearl-handled pistol.
- You want to know why this outfit got the hell kicked out of it? A blind man could spot it. They don’t act like soldiers; they don’t look like soldiers; why should they be expected to fight like soldiers?
- I’m not going to have a man sitting here crying! In front of these brave men who have been wounded in battle!
- “Despicable”.  That’s the first time anyone’s ever applied that word to me.
- I’m not going to subsidize cowardice.
- Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously harken to us as solders who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies, and establish Thy justice among men and nations. Amen.
MOST USED QUOTE: Now, an army is a team – it lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap.

05. Napoleon Dynamite
- What are you gonna do today, Napoleon? / Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
- Lucky.
- It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It’s probably the best drawing I’ve ever done.
- Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I’m training to be a cage fighter.
- Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I’d take state.
- Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
- You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?  Take a look at what I’m wearing, people.  You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys?  Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self-respect.  You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night?  Forget about it!
- After one week with me in my dojo, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
- I see you’re drinking 1%. Is that ’cause you think you’re fat? ‘Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
- Do the chickens have large talons?
- I caught you a delicious bass.
- The defect in that one is bleach…. This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch.
- Give me some of your tots. / No, I’m freakin’ starving! I didn’t get to eat anything today.
- But my lips hurt real bad!
- Just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!
- Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water.  Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.
MOST USED QUOTE:  I don’t even have any good skills…. You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills.  Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

O4. DIRTY HARRY
- I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? (Dirty Harry)
- Go ahead, make my day. (Sudden Impact)
MOST USED QUOTE: A man’s got to know his limitations. (Magnum Force)

03. The Princess Bride
- As you wish.
- I only dog paddle.
- Inconceivable!
- Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- This is true love – you think this happens every day?
- You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
- We are men of action, lies do not become us.
- Are there rocks ahead? / If there are, we all be dead. / No more rhymes now, I mean it. / Anybody want a peanut?
- You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. / You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
- People in masks cannot be trusted.
- You’ve been mostly-dead all day.
- Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.
- I… am not left-handed.
- Who are you? / No one of consequence. / I must know. / Get used to disappointment.
- We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone. / You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?
- You mock my pain. / Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
- You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
- Mawwaige. Mawwaige is what bwings us togeder today. Mawwaige, that bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam…And wuv, twu wuv, will fowow you fowevuh…So tweasure your wuv…. Have you the wing?
- I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.
- Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.
- You think a little head-jiggle is supposed to make me happy?
- Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!
MOST USED QUOTE: Let me ‘splain.  No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

02. What About Bob?
- Baby step to four o’clock. Baby step to four o’clock.
- Leo, I see salt and pepper… is there a salt substitute?
- You think he’s gone? He’s not gone. That’s the whole point! He’s never gone! / Is this some radical new therapy?
- If I fake it, then I don’t have it.
- What if I’m looking for a bathroom, I can’t find one, and my bladder explodes?
- There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don’t.  My ex-wife loves him.
- It reminds me of my favorite poem, which is, “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic… and so am I!”
- It was still grim.
- What is it with you and this death fixation? / Maybe I’m in mourning for my lost childhood.
- Good morning, Gil. I said, good morning, Gil.
MOST USED QUOTE: I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful… I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful… I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful…

01. The Godfather
- You’re not a wartime Consigliari, Tom. Things could get rough with the move we’re making.
- In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns.
- What did he say, badda-beep, badda-boop, badda-boop, badda-beep…
- …We go to the mattresses.
- It’s a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
- You’ve gotta get up close like this and – bada-BING!
-Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
- I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men.
- I’m gonna make him an offer he won’t refuse. Okay? I want you to leave it all to me.
MOST USED QUOTE: Tell me, do you spend time with your family?… Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.
FAVORITE QUOTE:  You can act like a man!  What’s the matter with you?  Is this what you’ve become, a Hollywood finocchio who cries like a woman?  ”Oh, what do I do? What do I do?”  What is that nonsense?  Ridiculous!

ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOVIE QUOTE
(Language Advisory)